i have wrestled with starting a blog for years...so get ready this should be a loooooong first post!
i guess technically i had one before they were an everyday pop culture thing to do when i wrote on my cancer website at www.taylorsowers.info
so i began my nighttime ritual of going to bed at 10 and trying with every ounce i have of sleepiness i have to go to sleep ...and now here we are at 2:36 and i can't take listening to another episode of mindless television and decided to try to be productive and cross off one of my "things i should do" items by starting this blog. my mind races at 90 mph in 27 different directions 24/7...this should be a nice outlet to get some of them out and maybe attempt that sleeping thing...i hear it's pretty awesome.
as i laid in bed thinking about my day it got me going in those 27 directions...
1. before i go any further there is something you should know about me. it's a well known fact if you know me so no shock value when i say i have a very non-traditional spiritual gift (so my mother and i have decided). googling. even typing it says i am wrong - but it has helped me be right on so many occasions. it is a blessing and a curse. much like web md...where you can be .4 seconds away from death or the first to be healed in one short medical synopsis paragraph. the google super power can be that one little thing i need to calm the hamsters in my ever running brain and also begin a whole new crazy google marathon....it will be mentioned in many a post i can almost guarantee - let me continue though in my other 26 directions first...
2. i finished reading the hunger games trilogy today and i wish i could blame my lack of sleep on my distaste for the ending. don't get me wrong - they were amazing books with a great story to be told. i am very glad i jumped on the bandwagon and read the books, saw the movie at midnight when it was released, and have a very wonderful mother who helped fuel their income by purchasing me not one but two tshirts that i wear proudly. i heard that the next book/books i should venture into are the girl with the dragon tattoo series. well of course the super google power took over and like an idiot i tried to read the plot outline on wikipedia. someone should really write **spoiler alert** before they give you the whole dang story without all the little minor details. now i feel like i've spoiled it and maybe should search for a new book to read...
3. after the gwtdt epic failure i finally decided laying in bed wasn't going to get me to sleep so i decided maybe a hot bath would relax me and i added the super lavender bedtime bath bubbles for a little extra help. all that did was get me into a million games back and forth with my mother on words with friends. (don't worry - i know i shouldn't use my phone in the tub...i lean it over the edge because with my luck i would drop it) let me just say that playing my mom is like playing the scrabble dictionary. i find such joy in my rare instances of beating her i go ahead and take a screen shot on my phone so there is some kind of evidence that she was defeated...even if it's by default from her losing points with the letters she still had in her hand...a win is a win. but that is one of those things i put down on the "reasons i love my mother" list...she has always encouraged us to use our brain power in the most different ways. it goes back to our 30 minute drives back and forth from grand prairie to dallas to go to church. everything from how many words can you make out of a certain word, rhyming games, six degrees of separation, etc. never a dull moment in our car - then and even today we still do it. it helps that our level of sarcasm has increased over the years...makes the games much more fun....and something i dearly hope to pass on to my own child...
4. my child. i wish i could say she pops in and out of my head but let's be real...she stays there all the time. i can't believe what an amazing little person she is growing up to be. she has the biggest love for life, a big sense of humor for a little person, and captures the heart of everyone she encounters is how i described her in a text with a friend tonight...i think that about sums it up. God definitely decided to reward me with presley blake's personality and disposition after the 9 months of throwing up with her!
5. i mentioned the connection between googling and web md earlier because it was one of my little adventures in insomnia tonight. on my 29th birthday, my lovely ob/gyn was so kind to give me the present of an anti-depressant. not exactly what i wanted but after almost being on it for a year i would say it was a fabulous present. and yet it makes my little bit of control issues take over thinking maybe i should get off of them now as compared to when i think of the situation i was in when he prescribed them to me...we had just moved from houston to dallas, presley was 5 months old, we had just moved into our house and getting adjusted to our new incomes and lifestyle, oh and working was a wee bit stressful to say the least. looking back i probably should've been put on something more than the lexapro he had me on but it did it's trick - all the way until i was no longer working aka no longer had insurance. he was very kind to switch me to celexa as it was a cheaper drug and would do the same thing. that's where google comes in....the side effects of this stuff could make one go bananas. combine that with the side effects of my depo-provera shot i get every 3 months and it is like cinderella's fairy godmothers singing bippity boppity boo here's your reasons for insomnia! thank the lord above that my child is a fabulous sleeper and will sleep in for when my body and mind finally decide to like each other and let me sleep for a few hours. don't get me wrong - i can take naps like a pro...seriously i should get paid for nap taking. but come 10 when jay is ready to go lay down and watch the news before our changing to our nightly line up thanks to channel 21 is like a big fat tease for me tossing and turning and finally giving up and getting out of bed to pass the time away. you know it's bad when you can leave the room and come back in and know what time it is by what show is on and not ever look at a clock. long story short - the side effects of withdrawls after stopping celexa scared me and yet relieved me that i will not take myself off and yet very grateful other people have the same side effects and questions i do! the power of google reigns again.
i know i said 27 directions and i'm now 22 short...but for a first time blogger i guess i should save some of my thoughts for another time....
i have always thought this would be a great hobby for me...i have led quite a life to be told up to now...and i know there is so much more to come. i hope you can enjoy it with me...at least enjoy the sleep you are getting that i am not - ha!
tbs
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